Peel back a layer.
Grey skies, a chill to the air. The mist sticks to us outside, and my pants are wet at the cuff. I built a fire tonight.
........
A winding thought in the mind of Erin: The path to redemption is intimacy.
I once heard a definition of intimacy as “mutual self exposure.” I suppose it could be physical, emotional, or spiritual. Intimacy is agreeing to trust another with our vulnerabilities even when it intensifies the risk of pain. And it is how we bond with others. We tell secrets. We undress. We show our needs.
And redemption, in a personal or philosophical sense, it also relies that type of giving relationship. Redemption means paid for, purchased. Regardless of inequity, the redeemer and the redeemed create a relationship of exchange. The spiritual parallels pop into my head quickly, but I like using these terms to think about relationships between two human beings, the people that I care about. We gain the strength of another through our intimacy. We tender ourselves in that self exposure, and we are redeemed.
........
There was a barista in Seattle who worked at one of the coffee shops where I’d go to do homework. He also worked at the gelato place near campus. We only chatted two or three times, but I saw him every few weeks at one place or another.
Today he was working at the coffee shop near my workplace in Portland. It’s been a good three years since I have seen him. He was across the room, but I’m pretty sure he recognized me. He kept looking up with a “Where do I know that girl from?” look without being impolite.
I was at the coffee shop for a work meeting, so I ended up leaving without saying anything to him. To be honest, I’m not really sure how to broach the conversation without sounding like a stalker. For now, I am just glad to resume our casual barista to coffee-patron relationship in a new city in this small world.
........
A winding thought in the mind of Erin: The path to redemption is intimacy.
I once heard a definition of intimacy as “mutual self exposure.” I suppose it could be physical, emotional, or spiritual. Intimacy is agreeing to trust another with our vulnerabilities even when it intensifies the risk of pain. And it is how we bond with others. We tell secrets. We undress. We show our needs.
And redemption, in a personal or philosophical sense, it also relies that type of giving relationship. Redemption means paid for, purchased. Regardless of inequity, the redeemer and the redeemed create a relationship of exchange. The spiritual parallels pop into my head quickly, but I like using these terms to think about relationships between two human beings, the people that I care about. We gain the strength of another through our intimacy. We tender ourselves in that self exposure, and we are redeemed.
........
There was a barista in Seattle who worked at one of the coffee shops where I’d go to do homework. He also worked at the gelato place near campus. We only chatted two or three times, but I saw him every few weeks at one place or another.
Today he was working at the coffee shop near my workplace in Portland. It’s been a good three years since I have seen him. He was across the room, but I’m pretty sure he recognized me. He kept looking up with a “Where do I know that girl from?” look without being impolite.
I was at the coffee shop for a work meeting, so I ended up leaving without saying anything to him. To be honest, I’m not really sure how to broach the conversation without sounding like a stalker. For now, I am just glad to resume our casual barista to coffee-patron relationship in a new city in this small world.
posted by Erin 11:41 PM
2 Comments:
Erin!
long time no hear... no see... no...smell?:)
Where arrreee yoooouuuuu?!
Where am I, by that matter?...
You know... I think it's okay to tell the barista guy where you've seen him... I wouldn't think you were a stalker:)
I pop by your blog from time to time and don't say hello! Kind of similiar eh? Martin Buber, a hasidic Jew, viewed relationships on a continuum that moved from impersonal to personal. The most basic relationship he entitled an I-It relationship - that is people in this category are treated as objects, a means to getting something, names generally aren't acknowledged, etc. Some feel that the only way a person can kill another is to treat them as objects.
The next type of relationship he identifies is an I-You relationship - in other words you acknowledge these people as having value. These are are your casual friends, coworkers, maybe family you aren't super close to.
The final type of relationship Buber idealizes is the I-Thou relationship. It is holy and intimate in nature! These relationships are ones' in which you reveal your hidden selves - the real you!
Interestingly, we place God in each of these categories don't we? Sometimes we treat God as an object - simply a means to an end.
Sorry for my sudden outburst or reaction but coffee does that to me - along with stimulating thoughts!
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