Have faith.

What is true faith? It is more than speaking faith-filled words. I know because it is easy to do, and it hasn't improved my confidence in God.

I had and interesting discussion last night about the ethics of genetic engineering. A friend said (something to the effect of), "These morally ambiguous choices that we face in life are what usher us into maturity. We recognize that we cannot make a right choice. We are forced to live by faith." Earlier in the same day I had a conversation about child-like faith. It was defined as "living in the simplicity of not knowing, and not worrying about not knowing."

These two examples, while differing in rhetoric, seemed to make the same point. It is a relinquishing of control that brings true faith. In a sense, it requires maturity and immaturity (child-like nature). I remember an essay I read by a philosopher (I believe it was Alvin Plantinga, but I am not sure) that discussed coming to a second understanding of simple faith. He wrote about revisiting the children's song "Jesus Loves Me" after acknowledging the troublesome nature of the world that we live in. His article gave weight to a type of second simplicity where one can sing the lyrics and believe them even in the midst of a distorted, broken world. It is child-like confidence infused into the inevitable jaded nature of adulthood.

In considering the nature of faith, I also think it is interesting that we use ownership language to discuss it. Example: we would say "She has faith," not "She is faith-filled." Is faith external to our personalities? Is it something to acquire? We certainly talk about it that way. So perhaps it is appropriate to seek faith as an element to add to our spirituality instead of an actual alteration of our spiritual sight. Does that make sense? I'm not sure what I think.

I cannot claim to have arrived at a second simplicity of faith. I am still struggling with trying to figure things out in my own head. Humanity seems too overwhelming, and I cling to control. I continue to reject grace in the hope that logic and law will somehow grant me the knowledge of good and evil, that ever-tempting power. I hope that someday I can get beyond this stage and find traces of this childish-maturity in my own spiritual journey.