December 26, 2006

See you on the flip side.

Well friends, I'm headed to East Africa for the next three and a half weeks. Please follow along at our team blog:

http://hopeisalive.com


I'm not sure if I'll be able to update this site while I'm traveling, but the team blog will be a great way to see what I'm up to. I'm returning to Oregon on January 22nd. Thanks for all of your prayers and support along the way!

December 23, 2006

Design in the details.


We had a cookie decorating session over at my parents' house today. It is amazing how much rainbow colored icing can become the medium for artistic angst. The emphasis was on personal expression through icing. I think they turned out rather well.

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The solstice has passed. Those landmarks are important to me. My heart seems to let out a sigh of relief at the promise of more light to come.



December 20, 2006

Light in the corner.

Sitting by my wood stove late at night. The rain is pouring down outside, and I get to sleep in a little bit tomorrow. Evenings at home are lovely, and they don’t get much better than a cozy fire with the sound of rain.

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Recently it was brought to my attention that an underreaction can be as unhealthy as an overreaction. This was revolutionary for me. I often believe that not responding to conflict is better than making people uncomfortable, but I have been challenged lately to think differently.

I use underreaction as a way of saving face- if I just get past the situation, the conflict will go away. Yet how often do those small things build up inside of me? It is easy to swallow something once, it is more difficult the second time, and by the third time, I should have said something earlier.

Forgive me for using some of my workplace jargon, but here we go: underreactions are rooted in lies that I choose to believe. I believe that people will dislike me if I try to deal with conflict head on, and I believe that bypassing a difficult situation is usually the right choice. This may be the middle child in me. I have found that conflict which is dealt with in a safe way can be extremely helpful, and it clears the air so that I can love people in my life more fully.

I’m learning a lot about myself lately. Most of these personal revelations are coming through some of the self evaluation encouraged at my workplace. Some of it comes through new relationships with coworkers who encourage me to be honest and vulnerable. I realize that I’m in a rare place, and I am so glad to be encouraged to grow.

Another thing I’ve learned- annoyance is the same emotion as anger. I have often made excuses for not processing feelings of annoyance. I would decide that the difficult situation would pass, and I put it out of my mind. However I have usually resolved feelings of anger much more intentionally. Now I am seeing that they are really the same thing, and I am trying to not excuse myself from dealing with anger by passing it off as “just being annoyed.” This is not to say that I’ve started making mountains out of mole hills. But knowing these things in my mind has already helped me process emotions in a more complete way.

So those are my recent life lessons. Thanks for letting me share them with you. I’m sure there will be more to come.

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I’m all packed for Africa! Somebody get me on a plane. I’ll be around until next Wednesday, but I hope you are planning to check in on me at our team blog while I’m gone. They have been updating it since the first half of our team got there last week.

December 15, 2006

Troll that ancient carol.

My family is not rigidly traditional during holidays, but we do have a few habits. For instance, since the earliest I can remember, we have gone out to Chinese food for dinner on Christmas Eve. We also have our annual night of decorating. It includes the first sanctioned egg nog of the season and Christmas music reaching every corner of the house. Somehow I always end up on tree duty, and this year I realized that, while I like having a nice tree to enjoy, I really dislike the itchy process of stringing lights onto the tree. I suggested investing in a fake tree, but the idea was not well received. Oh well. More rashes to come, I suppose.

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Carolyn and I have done our part in making our little home festive as well. We hung our stockings at the chimney with care, and there is a wreath on our door. This is big for us.

And as of today, I am almost finished with my Christmas shopping. That feels good.

December 12, 2006

All things new.

You may have noticed that I’ve been missing in action the last few days (weeks?). Sorry about that. I’ve been busy helping Dan and the first half of our team get ready to go to Africa as well as working with him to finish the nonprofit application for Lahash International. These things take time.

But now Dan is in Uganda. I really miss him, but I’m looking at the bright side of being boyfriendless and distraction free for the next two weeks. I’ll get more sleep. I’ll burn less gas. And I hope to post here a bit more frequently. Remember the old days? No promises, but I’ll try to at least improve.

Speaking of the old days, I’m headed back to Africa on the 27th of this month. I’m flying over with the second half of our group, and I’ll be there until the 22nd of January.

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Christmas is upon us. Those glittering lights and familiar songs buzz in the background of every public space.

This year my church pulled together and wrote a book of Advent meditations. I love hearing the voices of my friends in their writing about waiting, justice, peace and joy. And I am amazed at the hidden talents of my congregation- they are profound writers! Maybe we will find more occasions to tap that resource.

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And in a very important update, it is a nephew! That’s right, my brother and sister in law found out that they are having a little boy. I’ve already started wandering down the baby aisles of department stores.